Sky's the limit

I missed the start of the new series of Mad Men.

Well, actually I caught up at the weekend, thanks to the magic of iPlayer. It was as well-written as ever, though I wasn't sure about Don Draper’s ad for London Fog raincoats (A woman flasher with the line ‘Limit your exposure’?)

But I had to watch it on a computer because my Sky+ box broke. I rang them to see if they could fix it, and had an... interesting customer experience.

Now, in fundraising we often think there’s a lot to learn about ‘Customer Relationship Management / Marketing’ from the commercial world.

Well, not from Sky.

In fundraising, CRM is called ‘stewardship’. And it just means that, once you’ve persuaded someone to support you in some way (whether that’s by making a gift, joining a campaign or giving their time), you look after them.

You listen to them. You respond to them. You turn a traditional model of a monologue into a conversation, by finding out what interests them, finding out how they want to be treated, and personalising your communications accordingly.

Sometimes it's just remembering that you don't have to ask them for money every single time you communicate with them.

By treating your audience as individuals, with a bit of respect and consideration, they reciprocate with greater loyalty, more donations and a legacy gift. In other words, you look after them and they look after you. And you maximise their lifetime value. 

And, while few charities would tell you they're completely satisfied with their stewardship programme, most are developing ways of giving their supporters a more authentic, personal experience. 

We're engaged in stewardship programmes with most of our charity clients, and there are some fantastic things you can do online and using dynamic content or digital print.

So, by contrast, Sky. 

Which has 10 million customers and so should have got the hang of how to ‘steward’ them.

My Sky+ box broke so I gave them a call. The guy on the other end said he would talk me through fixing it.

First, he told me to press the button marked ‘TV’ followed by the one marked ‘Sky’. In other words, he told me to turn on the TV and turn on the Sky box. I said ok, I’d done that.

He then asked me, without irony, apology or personality, if it was now working.

Brilliant. Clearly it’s impossible to underestimate the intelligence of your customers in the eyes of Sky.

We then spent a pained few minutes together, pressing buttons, waiting to see if anything happened, pressing more buttons, before he had to admit defeat.

Well, not quite. First he asked me if I wanted to upgrade to the sport and movie packages.

Amazing. Patronise me first. Fail to fix the problem second. Clearly the perfect environment to try and persuade me to spend more with you.

Then the final coup de grace. He told me the Sky box was out of warranty (I’d had it 18 months). So there’d be a charge of £65 to repair it.

£65 to repair a box I have to have in order to be able to use the service I’m paying them £25 a month for. Utter genius.

Unlike me. I’m a mad man.

Cos I paid up.